This is one of the hardest post I have ever done...
The day I thought we would be married
I said: what about my eyes?
God said: Keep them on the road.
I said: what about my passion?
God said: Keep it burning.
I said: what about my heart?
God said: Tell me what you hold inside it?
I said: pain and sorrow
He said: ..stay with it.
The wound is the place where the Light enters you.
The wound is gaping, we split months ago....In this relationship I grappled with my own belief systems, a difficult set of "circumstances", the death of my ideologies and worked hard to open my self to this beautiful man, who loved me in a way that I had never experienced before. I opened and trusted deeper than...
So yesterday I took my first official test in my new midwifery school. So happy to say after the very emotional week that I have had...and PLENTY of distractions from my homework, I passed the test with flying colors! The night before, knowing that I had one night left to cram for my exam, I accepted an invitation from a friend to come over and help my 10 year old son cook his homework which would then be our dinner. Even though I didn't have dinner duty, I had a hard time really focusing on the work at hand. I forced myself to go to bed at 9 pm with a paper left to do and a 5 am wake up call. (I leave for San Diego every Friday at 6 am to arrive for class).
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to
-Anna Nalick (Just Breathe)
I knew the question would come or maybe everyone was wondering but only one person asked. "Why did you do it?" This day has been coming for a few years. Every decision I make is VERY conscious. I am what some would call an "overthinker"... some people think I am an over sharer too:) What follows is my truest...truth as I can tell you in this moment. (Disclaimer: I am going to use bad language and not be grammatically...