Today we officially announced the closing of our birth center The Sanctuary. Here is a part of the letter I wrote for our website.
"To our sweet loving supportive community,
After nearly 9 years The Sanctuary will be closing its doors. Aleks and I built this beautiful community in the hopes that it would change lives, transform the way birth was managed and perceived in this country, we believed that Los Angeles deserved a birth center, we envisioned a community for families with collaboration of wonderful practitioners. A place for lectures and movie nights and prenatal yoga and cloth diapers and mama's simply hanging out together. We were able to see each of these visions come to fruition...and it has been a beautiful and miraculous time. But the time has come for us to pursue other dreams and as wonderful as The Sanctuary has been, it is all encompassing to run such a large business with so many moving parts. Personally, I simply want to spend as much time as I can with my growing children before they are off to college and creating their own families. Also, I am joyfully pursuing getting my license as Midwife, a long held dream. I feel so honored to have watched this dream become a reality and be part of so many amazing families journey as they expand. I will be here in LA both natural birth and business consulting, teaching, doula-ing and in 2016 hopefully receiving my license. I would love for those of you inclined to stay in touch and reach out should you ever need me. (I LOVE seeing your babies grow...hint hint...love your photos!)
There have been so many other wonderful people that have graced us with their gifts over the years. We wish them all immense success in their next adventures and from the bottom of our hearts...thank every family, every baby, every practitioner that came though our doors. It has been an extraordinary ride of growth and expansive learning for each of us.
With a heart full of Gratitude,"
I can't even begin to put into words all of the feelings/emotions that came into making this decision...that in itself would be a novel. (Maybe one day!:)
But I felt it was important to memorialize this moment for my journey and those who come to find me here. I deeply believe in what Abraham (Abraham Hicks) says about not paddling upstream. That sometimes we struggle to push our plan or agenda and if you simply turn the boat around and go downstream...movement and progress actually takes very little effort. This is living your life in the flow. Your indicator that you are on your path is your joy. (aka Bliss:) Hence...follow your bliss.
Once I allowed myself to be ok with letting this dream have an end point, I could see that my joy was pulling me in other directions. Something new is ready to be birthed through me. I have already received several text, emails etc. with acknowledgement and praise. Tears well in my eyes each time...but this is not sorrow, or regret...it is my heart bursting open with gratitude that my efforts, all those moments away from the kids, all the stresses, mistakes, etc. They WERE WORTH IT....we touched many lives. The day I decided to not go back to the corporate life and build my own business, I decided that I wanted my work everyday to make a difference in the lives of others. The Sanctuary afforded me that...and for that I will forever be grateful.
Ok... So now what!?
For years I have been behind the scenes building everyone else's practices. Its interesting, confronting and inspiring to now be the provider. I don't need to check in with anyone else about their opinion of what I write, what I tell my clients, or how I practice. I don't need to dilute my opinions, my activism, my spirituality or my sexuality. (Why would I say sexuality?...Ill get back to that in a blog post very soon!) In other words I am giving myself permission to give MY gifts fully. To do what I do best ...speak honestly, authentically, and boldly. I can work with clients that deeply resonate with what I have to say and absorb the wisdom I have earned with all those grey hairs I don these days. I am tickled by this idea! When you work in a group or partnership sometimes your voice is muffled in the sea of voices...and I believe the time has come for me to really find my own octave and sing boldly.
I am excited about learning more about all of the amazing services that are available beyond The Sanctuary walls. I know A LOT about natural birth and how to support the individual needs of families...and have collaborated with some amazing practitioners over the years. As I build my own practice I am learning so much more about what individual practitioners are working on and specializing in. Just this week I had Lunch with Elliot Berlin and Giuditta Tornetta... so inspired by the amazing programs they are working on!!! I would like to start writing blogs to share what I am learning on my journey...I think it could be super fun and informative...stay tune peeps...I'm in love, I'm inspired and I am available for what next!!!